Divorce and Blended Families

I've been learning a little bit about divorce this past week and want to share some thoughts! This is very much a tender topic so I will try and be as sensitive as I can.

My Experience.

Now I personally have never been divorced. I'd have to be married to do that in the first place. My parents have been happily married for 25 years. For most of my life, I had never had anyone close to me go through that. When I got to high school, my best friend mentioned how her parents were kind of struggling and were going to separate for a while. I was pretty surprised by that but I had hope they could work things out. They did a lot of counseling and her mom really wanted it to put in the work to fix things but her dad wasn't as willing. They tried for a while but he eventually gave up. A few months later, she told me they were planning on getting a divorce. This experience was so traumatic. I never in a million years would have thought they would split up. They were basically like my second parents so it was obviously terrible for my friend but even for me it was hard to deal with. They had five children together who were from ages of 9-17. It caused a lot of stress on their family and even caused some long term problems for the kids.

Where is everyone at now?

You may be wondering how things turned out for their family. Well, a couple years after the divorce, they were both remarried to other people. The mom received custody of her children and they currently live with her but are allowed to see their dad whenever. You can imagine it might be hard for them to divide their time between both parents. Let's talk about the dad. He ended up marrying a lady he had stayed friends with before his first marriage. This woman had a few daughters from her previous marriage who were pretty hard to get along with. My friend and her siblings have had a tough time getting along with them because of some of their past issues. Their mom's husband also had a son with a past marriage who was still fairly young, about five years old. It has been hard for them to adjust to having a small child around the house.

Now it seems that I have kind of laid out all the negative points of a blended family but I promise there are good parts of it too. Over time, they have gotten a little closer to their step siblings. They are finding their blended families to not be as scary as it was at first. I want to point out that their mom is so much happier. She can be herself and laugh again. She finds joy in life and her family. Even though it's hard sometimes, she is happy her kids are with her. Their dad is happy too. He has challenges in his life but is married to someone who loves and supports him. It has been a big adjustment for their families to combine together with other siblings and parents, but through hard work, love, good communication and lots of prayer, they are making it work.

Conclusion.

I know that there is a lot to divorce that is super messy and doesn't always turn out how we imagined. It can be really hard and emotionally draining but I promise there is hope. If you do all you can in a marriage to make it work and it doesn't, it will be okay. If you are struggling with a blended family and getting used to that, just be patient. I know that it is way easier said than done! Just know that our loving Father in Heaven has a plan for you that will bring you joy and happiness. If you ever need someone to just pray with and for you, please reach out to me! I would love to help in any way I can.