A Lesson from Tammy

This week I was introduced to a story told by a woman named Tammy who lives in Ohio with her four boys. I got to see a little into her family and how being a single mom effects her life ecologically, emotionally and spiritually.

A little bit about Tammy.

Tammy is a middle aged woman who grew up on a farm with TWENTY TWO siblings! Her father worked very hard to provide for his family. She learned to work hard and to receive little for it. She grew up and ended up having four rambunctious boys to parent to on her own. They now live in a tiny run down trailer in the middle of a field in Ohio. Tammy works tirelessly at her local Burger King to provide for her family. As I watched and listened to Tammy's story, she looked sad. She expressed that she just wanted to feel on top of the world for once. She wants to eventually go back to school for a degree but ultimately just wants her family to love her.

How does this effect her children?

In an interview with her teenage son, Matt said very enthusiastically that he was quite embarrassed by his situation, and even his own mom. Being in high school, he already has a hard time fitting in with the style of clothes, sports and being cool. Adding on that his mom works at Burger King and he lives in a trailer doesn't make things any better. He also mentioned he didn't like being seen with his own brother because he doesn't even wear a shirt. Later in high school, Matt's girlfriend got pregnant and he wasn't able to graduate and works mowing peoples lawns trying to provide for his young family. I didn't get to hear much from the other kids but they didn't seem to be too happy. It was just so interesting to observe this family and their situation. It made me think a lot about why. Why are they not happy? Is it because of money? No father figure? Social status? Let me explain a little more of what I think.

West Virginia.

Now this might seem kind of random and might not make sense at first to Tammy's situation but just bear with me. West Virginia holds a dear place in my heart. I was able to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the West Virginia area. While I was there, I did local community service, taught strangers about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and just learned to love God's children unconditionally. West Virginia is known for people working in coal mines and not receiving much income for it. While the whole state isn't this way, the places I served in were. I saw people in trailers, just like Tammy's, that were completely falling apart. Not only were their homes falling apart, but their families were too. They struggled with finances and lacked lasting happiness and just didn't know where to find it. I met so many people like this and it absolutely humbled me. Many people didn't have father or mother figures which they believe lead them to drugs, alcohol, unplanned pregnancies and much more. The one thing that kept those families together, was God. These people who struggled so much with temporal needs had their spiritual needs covered. That is what kept them going and gave them TRUE happiness. They knew that whatever happens in the world wouldn't matter because they had the gospel of Jesus Christ. This faith gave them hope that someday, their troubles would be gone and in the meantime they could rely on the Savior for support and love.

"When the focus of our lives is on Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives." Russell M. Nelson

Back to Tammy&her Family.

As I have been reflecting on my experience and Tammy's as well, the thought just keeps coming to mind that a family centered on God is a happier family. Notice that I didn't say perfect, just happier. Our Father in Heaven put us in families for a reason. He wants us to have a mom and dad to take care of us so that when we get older, we can do the same for our children. I feel that if Tammy had a life centered on Christ, she could find joy even in the midst of hardship. I think her children would make better decisions as they would be geared to do what Jesus would do. I am grateful for Tammy's example of dedication of providing for her family and I pray she can find lasting happiness. I know we are all put on earth to have trials to make us stronger and more like God. If any of you are struggling in your families are looking for more peace and joy, leave me a comment, I would love to talk and pray with you.

If you would like to watch the full story, here's a link!

Tammy's Story (Links to an external site.)